Twelve days of Christmas...

On the twelfth day of Christmas my shopping cart was full.

• Twelve lousy fruitcakes


• Eleven pairs of slippers


• Ten o'clock store closings


• Nine miles from my car


• Eight hour sales


• Seven elbows flying


• Six packs of egg nog


• Five credit cards maxed!


• Four shopping malls


• Three drunken Santas


• Only two checkouts open


• And a rebate that won't come 'til next year!